I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
