ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
