yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I still have a little drunk in my system
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
