I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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