He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
