The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
