Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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