just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Say something about gay babies.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize