Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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