He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
