why didn't you poke me back
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
