did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
