Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
