thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
