I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
