i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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