You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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