She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
