we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
