remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
