Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize