My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize