just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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