she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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