I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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