I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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