I just saw a hot homeless man
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
