just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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