I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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