just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
