I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
