Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
