the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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