does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
