Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
