I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
