Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
