you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
