one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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