I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
