His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
