we're blogging at a bar
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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