i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
