The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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