Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
