i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
