You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
