Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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