Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
