BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
