He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
