I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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