do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
