the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
A bitchslap is in order.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
