What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This is my gift to your gina
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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