Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My feet surprised me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
