First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
someone owes me an orgasm
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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