You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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