i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
