i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
