I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Your dad touched me again.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
